For All She Knows Read online

  PRAISE FOR IN THE CARDS

  “Infused with . . . fresh detail. Between the sweetness of the relationship and the summery beach setting, romance fans will find this a warming winter read.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Fans will love the frank honesty of her characters. [Beck’s] scenery is richly detailed and the story engaging.”

  —RT Book Reviews

  “[A] realistic and heartwarming story of redemption and love . . . Beck’s understanding of interpersonal relationships and her flawless prose make for a believable romance and an entertaining read.”

  —Booklist

  PRAISE FOR WORTH THE WAIT

  “[A] poignant and heartwarming story of young love and redemption and will literally make your heart ache . . . Jamie Beck has a real talent for making the reader feel the sorrow, regret, and yearning of this young character.”

  —Fresh Fiction

  PRAISE FOR WORTH THE TROUBLE

  “Beck takes readers on a journey of self-reinvention and risky investments, in love and in life . . . With strong family ties, loyalty, playful banter, and sexual tension, Beck has crafted a beautiful second-chances story.”

  —Publishers Weekly (starred review)

  PRAISE FOR SECRETLY HERS

  “In Beck’s ambitious, uplifting second Sterling Canyon contemporary . . . conflicting views and family drama lay the foundation for emotional development in this strong Colorado-set contemporary.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Witty banter and the deepening of the characters and their relationship, along with some unexpected plot twists and a lovable supporting cast . . . will keep the reader hooked . . . A smart, fun, sexy, and very contemporary romance.”

  —Kirkus Reviews

  PRAISE FOR WORTH THE RISK

  “An emotional read that will leave you reeling at times and hopeful at others.”

  —Books and Boys Book Blog

  PRAISE FOR UNEXPECTEDLY HERS

  “Character-driven, sweet, and chock-full of interesting secondary characters.”

  —Kirkus Reviews

  PRAISE FOR BEFORE I KNEW

  “A tender romance rises from the tragedy of two families—a must read!”

  —Robyn Carr, #1 New York Times bestselling author

  “Jamie Beck’s deeply felt novel hits all the right notes, celebrating the power of forgiveness, the sweetness of second chances, and the heady joy of reaching for a dream. Don’t miss this one!”

  —Susan Wiggs, #1 New York Times bestselling author

  “Before I Knew kept me totally enthralled as two compassionate, relatable characters, each in search of forgiveness and fulfillment, turn a recipe for heartache into a story of love, hope, and some really good menus!”

  —Shelley Noble, New York Times bestselling author of Whisper Beach

  PRAISE FOR ALL WE KNEW

  “A moving story about the flux of life and the steadfastness of family.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “An impressively crafted and deftly entertaining read from first page to last.”

  —Midwest Book Review

  “All We Knew is compelling, heartbreaking, and emotional.”

  —Harlequin Junkie

  PRAISE FOR JOYFULLY HIS

  “A quick and sweet read that is perfect for the holidays.”

  —Harlequin Junkie

  PRAISE FOR WHEN YOU KNEW

  “[A]n opposites-attract romance with heart.”

  —Harlequin Junkie

  PRAISE FOR THE MEMORY OF YOU

  “[Beck] deepens a typical story about first loves reuniting by exploring the aftermath of a violent act. Readers will root for an ending that repairs this couple’s past hurt.”

  —Booklist

  “Beck’s portrayals of divorce and trauma are keen . . . Readers will be caught up in their journey toward healing and romance.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “The Memory of You is heartbreaking, emotional, entertaining, and a unique second-chance romance.”

  —Harlequin Junkie

  PRAISE FOR THE PROMISE OF US

  “Beck’s depiction of trauma, loss, friendship, and family resonates deeply. A low-key small-town romance unflinching in its portrayal of the complexities of friendship and family, and the joys and sorrows they bring.”

  —Kirkus Reviews

  “A fully absorbing and unfailingly entertaining read.”

  —Midwest Book Review

  PRAISE FOR THE WONDER OF NOW

  “The Wonder of Now is emotional, it is uplifting, it is heartbreaking, but ultimately shows the reader the best of humanity in a heartfelt story.”

  —The Nerd Daily

  PRAISE FOR IF YOU MUST KNOW

  “Beck expertly captures the bickering between sisters, the pain of regret, and the thorny path to forgiveness. With well-realized secondary characters . . . and believable surprises peppered throughout, Beck’s emotional tale rings true.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “[Beck’s] heartwarming novel explores the sisterly bond with a touch of romance and mystery.”

  —Booklist

  PRAISE FOR TRUTH OF THE MATTER

  “Beck spins a poignant, multigenerational coming-of-age tale as these three women navigate their identities, dreams, and love lives. Complex and introspective, this is by turns heart-wrenching and infectiously hopeful.”

  —Publishers Weekly (starred review)

  “This is [a] sharp and graceful tale of mothers and daughters, secrets and tangled family histories. Jamie Beck brings her clear-eyed prose style and smart characterizations to the story of a mother and daughter doing their best—and often failing—to make their way to a new life after a divorce. A thoughtful, moving book from a writer stepping into the fullness of her talents.”

  —Barbara O’Neal, bestselling author of When We Believed in Mermaids

  ALSO BY JAMIE BECK

  In the Cards

  The St. James Novels

  Worth the Wait

  Worth the Trouble

  Worth the Risk

  The Sterling Canyon Novels

  Accidentally Hers

  Secretly Hers

  Unexpectedly Hers

  Joyfully His

  The Cabot Novels

  Before I Knew

  All We Knew

  When You Knew

  The Sanctuary Sound Novels

  The Memory of You

  The Promise of Us

  The Wonder of Now

  The Potomac Point Novels

  If You Must Know

  Truth of the Matter

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, places, events, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  Text copyright © 2021 by Write Ideas, LLC

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  Published by Montlake, Seattle

  www.apub.com

  Amazon, the Amazon logo, and Montlake are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates.

  ISBN-13: 9781542008754

  ISBN-10: 1542008751

  Cover design by David Drummond

  For all the parents who hold their breath and pray for the wisdom, strength, and courage to guide their children safely and happily into adulthood.

  CONTENTS

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  PROLOGUE GRACE

  CHAPTER ONE GRACE

  CHAPTER TWO MIMI

  CHAPTER THREE GRACE

  CHAPTER FOUR GRACE


  CHAPTER FIVE MIMI

  CHAPTER SIX GRACE

  CHAPTER SEVEN MIMI

  CHAPTER EIGHT GRACE

  CHAPTER NINE MIMI

  CHAPTER TEN GRACE

  CHAPTER ELEVEN MIMI

  CHAPTER TWELVE GRACE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN MIMI

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN GRACE

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN MIMI

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN GRACE

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN MIMI

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN GRACE

  CHAPTER NINETEEN MIMI

  CHAPTER TWENTY GRACE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE MIMI

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO GRACE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE GRACE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR MIMI

  EPILOGUE GRACE

  EXCERPT: THE HAPPY ACCIDENTS

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  BOOK CLUB QUESTIONS

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  Dear Reader,

  Thank you for picking up For All She Knows, a story that is very dear to my heart as a mother of teens who are navigating the high school and college social scenes. In writing this tale, my goal was not to cast judgment on anyone’s parenting style, but rather to start a conversation about how and why we make certain choices, and whom and what we might want to consider when doing so. Most of all, I hope that Grace’s and Mimi’s journeys of discovery—with each other and within themselves—will resonate with you.

  It is also important to note that this book was written prior to the pandemic. During the editing process, we decided not to address COVID-19 in the context of this story because there were still too many uncertainties about what the world (and science) would look like by the time the story was released. We appreciate your acceptance of our omission in this case. As I write this note, I am very hopeful that by the time you read this story, we might all be able to safely move about and gather in groups again.

  Happy reading!

  Jamie Beck

  PROLOGUE

  GRACE

  Sunday, January 10, 2021, 12:15 a.m.

  Shock Trauma Center ER near Baltimore

  Everyone warned me that the day would come when I’d regret befriending Mimi Gillette. But despite our many differences, Mimi and I had clicked from the moment we first met in our sons’ toddler playgroup years ago, when her earnestness cracked me open like an egg. After fifteen minutes of chitchat, she’d grabbed my hand to say, “I hope we can be good friends,” and I’d known she’d meant it. Sure, she could be flamboyant, and our differing parenting styles had made for some interesting conversations, but she was all heart—even after her ex-husband ground it beneath his bootheel and left her to raise their son alone. And so I’d tuned out public opinion all these years.

  Curling forward, I hugged my calves and buried my face in my lap, each breath burning my lungs. The not-quite-sweet chemical odor of hospital disinfectant wasn’t helping. With my eyes closed, the recent scene in Mimi’s basement flickered like a horror film. The memory of my son’s terrified tears as he lay prone and immobile on the tile floor sent a shiver down my back; I swallowed another bitter surge of bile.

  “Excuse me.” I grasped for the young nurse passing by the area where they’d left us after wheeling Carter off for tests. “My son, Carter Phillips, was taken for MRIs and other tests a while ago, but we haven’t had any updates.”

  “Let me check for you.” Despite being harried, he flashed a sympathetic smile before continuing his journey, his focus again glued to the iPad in his hand.

  “Thank you,” I called after him.

  The clock read twelve fifteen. Every minute seemed an eternity.

  Across the room, our daughter, Kim, lay sleeping in her pink-and-black leopard-print pj’s and slippers, her lanky ten-year-old body strewn across my husband’s lap. When we’d gotten Mimi’s phone call, I’d charged across town to her house to catch the EMTs—still in my UGG slippers and yoga pants—while Sam had stayed behind, waiting for the girls at Kim’s sleepover to be picked up by shocked parents. Now he was stroking her hair, staring into space, probably praying like me.

  In between prayers, prior dreadful moments—like the blue lights flashing through my mom’s living room window years ago when the cops came to tell us that my older sister, Margot, had died—revisited me. My mother’s pitiful howl that evening struck a new chord now. My gaze drifted back to Sam.

  Our eyes met, but I glanced away.

  “Grace.” Sam’s deep voice quavered.

  “Please, not now.” Nothing he could say would settle the chaos in my brain. Sweat seeped from every pore. I crossed my arms and closed my eyes, wishing that when I opened them again, this would be nothing more than a terrible nightmare. That I could go back to yesterday morning—or even before the damn budget debate—and make different choices.

  “Babe,” Sam whispered loudly enough for me to hear, “I can see you spiraling. Try not to jump to the worst-case scenario. We could still get good news.”

  His soothing manner and optimism had always been appealing, but neither strategy worked for me tonight. I tugged hard at the roots of my hair, but no self-inflicted pain would reverse time. I didn’t deserve peace of mind. Not when everything I’d done to protect my children had been undone by a single bad decision.

  Each cough, creaky chair, and turn of a page in the waiting room reverberated in my head. The alcohol odor of the hand sanitizer I’d applied reminded me of the spilled drinks all over Mimi’s home, making me nauseated and twitchy. I sprang from my chair and paced, envisioning my sweet boy in a wheelchair. What would that be like? How would we manage rehab and school, or make the house accessible?

  I covered my mouth with both hands to hold in a scream about why this was happening to my baby.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket. Mimi again. I couldn’t listen to her apologies and concern now. All I wanted at this moment was for somebody to tell us that our son would recover and walk.

  I collapsed back onto my seat.

  Sam slid out from beneath Kim and stretched. “I’m going for coffee. Do you want one?”

  “No thank you.” Without meeting his gaze, I crossed the room to sit with Kim while he searched for caffeine. Was it only a week ago we’d been excitedly planning an August family biking tour of the Canadian Rockies?

  I shook my head again, hoping to clear it, but the faint buzz of overhead lights drilled on.

  That my daughter could sleep in this brightly lit, hardly peaceful waiting room astounded me. I toyed with a curl of her blonde hair, wanting to cradle her to my chest and squeeze her tight, as if my arms would keep her safe in a way that I’d failed to do for my son.

  A thick tear rolled down my cheek while I tried to follow Sam’s lead and grasp for positive thoughts. None came. Or if they did, they got crowded out by self-recriminations.

  Then Mimi’s splotchy face and the somber faces of those cops reappeared, and the agony of it all stuck in my throat like a bowling ball.

  “Mrs. Phillips?” A doctor whose name I couldn’t remember how to pronounce stared down at me as Sam returned. “I have an update.”

  CHAPTER ONE

  GRACE

  The previous Monday, January 4

  Stewart’s Grocery Mart, Potomac Point

  “Oh, hey, Grace.” Mimi flashed a smile while her knee-high leather boots, tight jeans, and fringed sweater drew looks from other shoppers perusing the produce aisle. Her blue-tipped curls were piled high on her head with a bohemian headband decorated with tiny pink cutout flowers.

  My shallow leather loafers, gray slacks, and pearl studs wilted in comparison.

  “Hey, I didn’t expect to run into you.” I smiled, remembering then that she closed her hair salon on Sundays and Mondays.

  “Sorry about this morning’s post in the group.” She raised her hand like a witness testifying on the stand. “I swear, I had nothing to do with it.”

  “What post?” I never checked the Potomac Point Moms Facebook page as frequently as she did.
She claimed it helped her engage with customers and organically grow her business. On the surface that seemed sound, but every week at least one comment would leave her feeling glum or excluded.

  “Oh, you didn’t see it?” She grimaced. “So this is awkward,” she singsonged. “But the thing is, whatever happens tonight, we’re friends. I get why you object to the budget, and you get why I support it. We both love our sons, so we can’t hold fighting for them against each other. It isn’t personal, right?” She lifted a cantaloupe and sniffed it before putting it in her cart.

  “Of course not.” Although in truth, it had already begun to affect us. For starters, this was the first time in a decade we were grappling with something we couldn’t discuss with each other. It’d been odd to not be as candid as we normally were about everything from our sex lives to our kids’ issues. Plus, Mimi’s leadership role in the pro-budget group had won her respect from some women who’d previously been dismissive. She deserved that, so I didn’t begrudge her, but I worried her expanding pool of friends might overshadow our relationship.

  While my husband and children sustained me, life without Mimi would be lacking something—like a holiday table with an empty place setting. She brought easy laughter and adventure into my days: the Carrie Bradshaw to my Charlotte York. Whether dragging me to a psychic, organizing a meteor shower watch party with our kids years ago, or even making me take a hip-hop dance class one autumn, she made life a little more interesting.

  Despite my uneasiness, I winked as we pushed our squeaky-wheeled carts around the bend. “That doesn’t mean I’ll wish you good luck, though.”

  She chuckled. “Me neither, but we’re still on for coffee early Friday morning.”

  “Sugar Momma’s?”

  “Is there even a question?” Mimi blew me a kiss before we parted at the deli counter.

  Meandering away, she idly swung her hips and hummed while pausing to scan the artisanal bread display. Like many of the other men in town did whenever she passed by, Leo—the guy working the deli counter—wore an appreciative grin as she wandered off.

  Mimi showed no anxiety about the upcoming hearing. Why would she? The budget’s nearly three-million-dollar proposal to modernize the turf and field house and create a new practice field would be difficult to overturn. As a VP of the school’s booster club, she’d rallied all its alumni to show their support. The town hall auditorium would be packed with champions tonight, many of whom were longtime residents with deep ties in the community, unlike me.